I thought I was OK, I'd learnt to face up to my troubles and to accept compromising my own happiness for everyone else. I was feeling OK. But then, how do you explain the fact that I've spent the past two weeks procrastinating like someone who has completely lost the plot? Anyone looking at the situation objectively would say that I was in denial...which, come to think of it, was probably true.
For a while, I lost all sense of direction, seeking nothing, spending hours upon hours submerged in science-fanatasy novels and the old anime films of my childhood. They say that denial normally comes before depression and anger, but for some reason or another, I'm going through the whole process backwards. Let's hope that the end of this whole business works out according to the norm. Some part of me is still eleven years old - insecure and happier lost in some deranged fantasy than to face up to the nastiness of Reality - except this time I really don't have much of an excuse for my behaviour because I have glimpsed the enormity of the grace that has brought me this far and allows me to stand where I am standing. We profess to growing more mature and wiser as we age, but we elude the fact that we still carry the same burdens as our eleven-year old selves and more besides. We can learn to manage these, but we cannot rid ourselves of them by our own strength.
Comments (4)
PULL UP UR SOCKS AND STAND UP TALL!!
i'll try...but it's kindda hard when you're only 5' tall!
i get wt u're saying...
but oh wells..
interviewer said that they dont actually have to make contact with the neurone, suggesting that if an electrode is placed just close to the neuron tip, the current is large enough to jump to the device from the neurone. =)
and UPDATE!